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  • Writer's pictureBrad Thiessen

Why do I cry?

Sometimes, the rough times open my eyes to the good stuff

crying after cancer treatment
Is it so bad to cry once in a while? Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

For a few months after each major cancer treatment or other major medical event like this summer's surgery for hydrocephalus, I have found myself crying more easily than I used to. (I'm crying a bit as I type this.)


I cry when I think of the hugeness of the experiences.


I cry when I think of the fear I felt then, and the fear that stays.


I cry about what I've lost, and what I may not get back.


Which is to be expected, I suppose.


It goes beyond that, though. I cry when I hear about someone else's struggle, with cancer or otherwise.


I also tear up about the beautiful stuff, like a stunning view or a heartfelt musical performance, whether that performance is sensitive or just full-on energy.


Most of all, I cry when I think about the future, about the good things in my life and the end that may come. It'll come regardless, like it does for all of us.


I usually hide my tears, even from those closest to me. It's intensely personal and even I don't understand them.


After six months or so, when the trauma of the medical episode has passed, the tears come less often.


I miss those tears.


Because they remind me I'm alive, and that life is oh so precious – which is easy to take for granted.

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2 Comments


Paul Thiessen
Paul Thiessen
Oct 15, 2021

Thanks for letting your true humanity shine. In one of his songs that is my favorite of his entire oeuvre Eric Bibb sings ‘I am blessed every day that I live’. Your life movingly attests to that truth.

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bradleythiessen
Oct 15, 2021
Replying to

that's a wonderful song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAFSrROrh0g

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