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  • Brad Thiessen

Why do I cry?

Sometimes, the rough times open my eyes to the good stuff

crying after cancer treatment
Is it so bad to cry once in a while? Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

For a few months after each major cancer treatment or other major medical event like this summer's surgery for hydrocephalus, I have found myself crying more easily than I used to. (I'm crying a bit as I type this.)


I cry when I think of the hugeness of the experiences.


I cry when I think of the fear I felt then, and the fear that stays.


I cry about what I've lost, and what I may not get back.


Which is to be expected, I suppose.


It goes beyond that, though. I cry when I hear about someone else's struggle, with cancer or otherwise.


I also tear up about the beautiful stuff, like a stunning view or a heartfelt musical performance, whether that performance is sensitive or just full-on energy.


Most of all, I cry when I think about the future, about the good things in my life and the end that may come. It'll come regardless, like it does for all of us.


I usually hide my tears, even from those closest to me. It's intensely personal and even I don't understand them.


After six months or so, when the trauma of the medical episode has passed, the tears come less often.


I miss those tears.


Because they remind me I'm alive, and that life is oh so precious – which is easy to take for granted.

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